Silent Bob's Dream Come True
by morning.chickenhead
Summary: After hearing the gossip about Caitlin’s tryst with Jessie in Toronto, Kevin Smith plots to woo her when she gets back to L.A. One-shot. Takes place after Episode 7.8, Jessie’s Girl.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing Degrassi, nothing Kevin Smith, nothing Jay and Silent Bob.

**Silent Bob's Dream Come True**

Kevin had long ago stopped orchestrating covert times and places at which to "bump into" Caitlin Ryan.

He still wasn't sure if he had offered to rekindle _Ryan's Planet_ because he knew it mattered to her and he wanted to help out of the pure goodness of his heart, or if he had plotted all along that she might just swoon into his arms under the Los Angeles sky.

But as it turned out, Caitlin had stepped off the private jet on to the tarmac and let the limelight of twinkling stars and spotlights immediately strike her. She had been on fire ever since. _Ryan's Planet_ was a bigger hit than ever, and Caitlin worked constantly with no time for romance.

Kevin was pretty busy himself with national tours and the typical Jay-and-Silent-Bob fun. But he still ached to draw his one and only dream girl into a forever-bear-hug.

The latest tabloid news about C.R. had devastated him. And if she was going to go down that road, he had to know now.

So before she even returned from her tour he orchestrated a covert time and place at which to "bump into" Caitlin.

"Is that – is that the incandescent Caitlin Ryan?"

Caitlin spun around, tipping the flute she was holding and nearly spilling champagne all over her gauzy silver gown. "Kevin!" she exclaimed. "Er…how are you?" They hugged awkwardly as polite acquaintances might. When he didn't immediately answer but just gazed at her momentarily, she continued stiltingly, "It's…been awhile…hasn't it."

Kevin shook himself out of his stupor. It was more than a little difficult to stand only a foot away from this little drop of heaven.

"Not in Kevin Smith time," he replied, and though kicking himself for his nerdiness, didn't stop talking. "Every movie a mere moment, every tour a tiny test of time." He laughed nervously. "What I should say is, it feels like I just saw you yesterday. You…haven't changed a bit." He bit his lip invisibly from inside his mouth, furious that that last comment was such a god-damned-lie. Of course she had changed. The old Caitlin Ryan would never have worn that gauzy silver gown. Something inside him pulsed at seeing her that way, so radiant, her face perfectly made-up. But this wasn't the Caitlin he had fallen in love with from afar a decade and a half earlier.

"Neither have you," she said courteously, looking relieved. She now sipped at her champagne, glancing about the room as if grasping for a topic of conversation. "So…great party, eh?"

"Well, it was till I saw you. Now it's gone from great to _great._" He gave a half-smile and she laughed politely. "Yeah, I never expected to run into you at the benefit for ending the use of plastic bags."

"Kevin…I planned this benefit."

"Yeah, I know," he said, hanging his head briefly. "I just thought you'd be busy making small talk with the big wigs."

"Apparently I am," Caitlin said dryly, grinning tensely down at her champagne.

"Oh, I meant the _real _big wigs," he rushed to correct himself. "You know, the ones that will give you their money and their time."

"Eeyeah…" she replied. "You have to throw a stupid party like this – which is so incredibly consumptive and wasteful, and you have to get all dressed up like a bratty mermaid – to get a little time from the big wigs. They're willing to throw money and prestige at you, but you can't corner them in the hallway to actually _talk_ to you."

"I thought you weren't too impressed by small talk."

"I'm not," she agreed. "I'm talking about big talk."

Kevin swallowed. "Is it just me, or…did we make the shift from small talk to big talk approximately 45 seconds ago?"

Caitlin didn't answer, just took a gulp of champagne and grimaced at the now-empty flute.

_O-kay…_Kevin thought. _Small talk, it is!_

But if he played it right, the supposed "small talk" could accomplish his purposes of "bumping into" her here.

He couldn't keep the razor's edge out of his voice. "I see your little foray into the baby's cradle in Toronto hasn't hurt your ratings any."

Caitlin set her mouth in a thin line. "Oh, you heard about that, eh?"

"Yeah, I did, eh." Now he couldn't bring the edge back to his voice. He just thought her Canadianisms were wayyyy too-cute.

She rolled her eyes, but not without a half-smile returned to his.

"You're a friggin' _cougarrrrrr, _lady" he intoned, leaning forward.

"No, I think cougars are slightly more coordinated and sleek than I am," she said, shaking her head and sending her eyes skyward. "That was the _biggest_ mistake. I had no idea the little snake was my mentee's _boyfriend._"

"But do you usually go for younger men?" Kevin persisted, suddenly grabbing the champagne flute from her hand, shoving it on to a nearby table, which was covered in sparkling sequins sprinkled over a velvety black cloth. Her wrist in his hand, he brought her closer to him and lowered his face barely an inch from hers. "Because you know, I'm a year older than you." He whispered severely now: "So I…need…to…know."

Caitlin's eyes flashed as she shook her hands hard and released her wrists from his grip. "What is this?" she demanded. "You avoid me for four years and suddenly expect me to answer such an inane question about my personal preferences?"

"Avoid…you?" Kevin repeated slowly, his eyebrows raised.

"Look," she said. "I'm sorry about what I did to you. Can't you just forgive me now?"

"Um…that depends. Are you sorry that you made out with me, then went to propose to your boyfriend? Or are you just plain sorry that you made out with me?"

Caitlin looked befuddled as she answered. "The…first one? I think?"

"Okay…"

"And this stupid thing in the news lately – I mean, in the "news"; you know what I think of that tabloid shit –"

Kevin nodded whole-heartedly in agreement, eyes wide. "_You_ are the model news reporter. That stuff they _printed_ about you is a joke."

"Kevin, I've been _lonely,_" Caitlin said, shaking her head. "I love doing the show. I love travelling and learning and making friends across the world. I love bringing those experiences to people who don't have the chance to travel and to people who really care about the environment and social justice. But you might as well change the name of it to _Lonely_ Planet. It's been years now. Being in Toronto just felt like home and I slipped. I did something with someone I didn't really care about. It reminded me that home isn't really about a place, but about people."

Heart hammering, Kevin nodded encouragingly. Inside, he was still smirking at her _Lonely Planet_ pun. Maybe this was the Caitlin he fell in love with after all…

"I thought when you offered me the job here that we might…you know." Red crept up her neck and into her face, and she shook her head hard. "I don't know, it was stupid. I thought I could have the career I wanted and have a home with someone. I mean, have a home with…you."

She looked at him oddly. He looked rather starstruck. "Aren't you going to say anything? I thought you were mad at me for proposing to Joey, and –"

No, he wasn't going to say anything. Words couldn't convey the rush of loud, fervent emotion through his veins. Only silence could. Silence. So without a word he gathered Caitlin up in his big arms and pressed his lips to hers to silence hers.

Though the way they tingled against his, he guessed that she was feeling the noise of emotion inside, too.

Standing outside the party, Caitlin and Kevin gazed into each other's eyes, stunned that it had taken them this long to come together.

When Caitlin spoke, it was shyly. "So…do you…want to get a drink?"

"As long as you promise not to go home to another man," Kevin joked quietly.

She grinned. "Well, why don't we go back to your place then."

Kevin froze, guiltily recalling an image of his condo in his mind. If things were finally going to happen with Caitlin, he'd have to make some changes to his lifestyle. "You know, you probably want to get out of that dress. I'd love to see _your_ place."

Caitlin's grin was now stuck to her face. She spoke through her teeth. "No really, the dress is fine. I'd love to see _your_ place."

Kevin sighed and shook his head in defeat. He took her hand in his and turned to walk in the direction of his condo.

As he unlocked the door, Kevin took a deep breath. This could be it. "It" not as in a dream come true. But "it" as in Caitlin slapping him – maybe even slapping him twice – and storming out the door.

Caitlin slid past Kevin smilingly as he held open the door for her. Then she stopped.

"Ohhh, I see," she said awkwardly.

Two life-sized posters of none other than Caitlin Ryan donned one wall, under which a long bookcase boasted the DVD sets of every season of her show, every news special, even VHS recordings of _Local Heroes._

"Heh…surprise?"

After a moment more, Caitlin burst into laughter, and hopped into the space between Kevin and the doorframe, where he held the door open still, thinking she might wish to flee. But she pointed her chin upward and planted a sweet little kiss on his mouth. "Come on," she said, racing out the door. "I want to go back to my place!"

Kevin trailed after Caitlin all the way to her apartment. "Okay…" she said delightedly. "Speaking of surprises, I think you'll have one now."

Kevin followed her into the apartment and nearly toppled over in shock. The walls were plastered with _Jay and Silent Bob_ posters.

"Caitlin…" he breathed.

"No, don't say anything," she laughed. "Just help me get out of this dress."


End file.
